(Writer’s note: I have a fragrance that leaves glitter on my skin, it is so weird)
-The easiest ice to crack is asking someone if they are in pain. Does not matter if physical or emotional, ask them if they are in pain. Then watch the light shatter from their eyes for a mild second, watch how their jaw tightens and they swallow hard to stall more time. They will wish for so much to be avoided, lied about and ignored but it is very difficult for someone to ignore such a question.
Are you fine? Yes. Sure? Yes. Is something wrong? No. Really? Yes, nothing. Please, tell me? Nothing!
This will only create more ice, maybe even stones and bricks. Remember not to smile, not to smirk, not to let them know that you are simply curious and do not care. Do not let them know how worthless your questions are, how pathetic you are sitting there asking someone about something they do not want to tell. Do not let them know how awfully helpless you are to their situation.
After the light breaks, notice the return. Notice how they recover from it and fill their eyes with something again. Anger, apathy, maybe tears, possibly a lifted brow and even a blank stare. You were told not to show your curiosity. Were you not just warned not to show your worthlessness? They know now and they knew all along. Such people know how to survive. They have till now, as well, haven they not? They never asked for your advice, thank you for suggesting yoga and other means of time wastage. Thank you for showing your concern with a matter that you have not faced, thank you for assuming you understand; thinking these people are so idiotic to believe you. To think that you know. They fill your minds with information that should be limited to you and you think you tricked them cunningly enough when they were silently smiling all along. You poor thing. What did you say? Why would you say such a thing? What is that you recommended? Oh, dear, you should know your audience. Now, silently listen to the list of medicines they have memorized, listen to how they deal with their pain without your forced help, hear how their voice is so solid rock. Why does it not break? People in any pain melt easily, their voice crack and they pause a lot – to pull back tears. They do not show you the strange movements they do to comfort their body and the deep breaths they take to ease their minds. Did you never notice that? You do not mean anything. You never realized how they can wreck you. Destroy you with all your health and happiness when they are the ones in pain. You underestimated their power to hit you so silently and slowly, how after a few months of breakdowns and stress attacks, you realize what they have done and oh, so silently.
Poor little thing, simply imagining the ill as weak – vulnerable. No one wants to listen about the anxiety attacks you have now. It is not a competition. You are not one of us, you do not understand.
Watch. Some of them do not even shatter that little light, dust and cobwebs collect in such places. Places that are left alone and shut for so long that no light passes through.
Are you in pain? Not at all, darling, how are you?